Crow here. It's a little known fact that a favorite hobby of the gargoyles at Notre Dame Cathedral is collecting jokes. There's nothing they enjoy more than a good laugh at the foibles of humanity. Why else do you think they allowed Quasimoto the leeway they did when he was running around the rooftops, ringing the bells, grabbing young women and generally causing a commotion? It's because he was a clown. A sad clown, yes, but he provided some amusement to their generally tedious task of spitting rain water past the gables.
I well remember when susan had decided to spend some time in Paris (unfortunately she'd chosen three months in winter but that's another story) and had flown off one afternoon to see the Eiffel Tower while I relaxed with my old friend Gregoire the Cracked Horn. He'd overheard a story that went like this:
There were five passengers on a flight - a politician, a rich man, an old priest, a hippy and the world's smartest man. After the plane had been in the air a little while they noticed the engines sputtering and wondered if there was trouble. Just then the pilot rushed into the cabin and said, 'I can't restart the engines and the plane is going to crash. I suggest you each grab a parachute and follow me.' He opened the door outside then went to a cupboard, grabbed a parachute and leaped out. The other passengers looked in the cupboard and found only four parachutes.
The politician took a parachute and said, 'I have constituents who need me to be in Congress for a very important vote so I must save myself.' He jumped out.
The rich man said, 'I have a very important business and my stockholders are counting on me to keep them rich.' He grabbed a parachute and jumped out.
The world's smartest man said, 'I'm the world's smartest man so it should be evident to all why I need this parachute.' He followed the others.
Now only the old priest and the hippy were left and the priest said, 'It's all right my son. I've lived a long and fruitful life and look forward to my reward. You take the last parachute.'
The hippy replied, 'Don't worry about it father. The world's smartest man just grabbed my back pack.'
^_^
* reprise from 2009 :)
Nice variation. :)
ReplyDeleteAlas, there are so many very very smart people around, these days.
We'll be handing out brick filled backpacks all afternoon. :)
DeleteA Sunday well spent. :)
DeleteLove gargoyles - bad jokes I love'm: the elephant looked at the naked man and said 'that's cute, but can you breath out of it?
ReplyDeletethe Ol'Buzzard
Me too, OB. Another one I liked goes like this:
DeleteA husband bringing the kid home from school said to his wife, 'He won't stop crying. Do you suppose he's sick?'
'No', she answered, 'He's been trying to tell you he's not our son'.
Well, if it is bad joke time: A hiker is about to climb a gate and walk through a field but notices a bull in it, so approaches the nearby farmer and says "Is that bull safe?" Farmer says "Perfectly safe," but calls out "Not sure about you though," as the walker gets down from the other side of the gate.
ReplyDeleteOkay, if you insist, here's an old favourite
Delete(but in my opinion it's a good one):
A duck walks into a bar, hops up on a stool and says to the bartender "Got any grapes?" The bartender says "No" and the duck leaves. Next day the duck comes back, hops on his stool and says to the bartender "Got any grapes?" The bartender says "I told you yesterday we don't have any grapes and we still don't have any grapes". The duck left. The following day the duck comes back again, hops on the stool, looks at the bartender and says "Got any grapes?". The bartender gives the duck a long stare and says "I keep on telling you we don't have any grapes and if you come in here one more time asking for grapes I'm going to nail your bill to the bar". The duck left. Next day the duck walks back into the bar, hops up on his favorite stool, looks at the bartender and says "Got any nails?" The bartender says "No, I don't have any nails". The duck says "Got any grapes?"
Hi Susan,
ReplyDeleteHa Ha & great drawing. In Scotland we encountered 2 sheep following the sign to the local BAA.And I thought they only ate grass!!. More to crofting than you think. Best wishes.
Good one, Lindsay. I'm glad the two of you had such a grand adventure.
DeleteAll the best
a fellow goes to the movies with his duck. at the ticket window he is told,"no animals allowed."
ReplyDelete"But I go everywhere with my duck!" Discussion ensues and he is denied entrance with his duck. Not dissuaded he goes to the back alley, sticks the duck in his pants,buys one ticket and goes into the theater and sits next to a couple of old ladies then unzips to allow the duck some air.
"Margaret." one says,"we are sitting next to a pervert...he has his thing out!!"
"Oh just enjoy the view...at our age we don't get to see many."
"But this is different.....it's eating my popcorn!"
I promise I won't say this one quacked me up.. Oops.
Deleteguy goes to the movies,Charlton Heston retrospective, 'Ben Hur'. Sits down and there is a duck sitting next to him eating popcorn.
ReplyDelete"What are you doing here? You're a duck!"
"Well,"said the duck,"I liked the book."
watching the Marx Brothers tonight. guess the flick.
Something about soup?
Delete